Bumper Stickers 5

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Sorry I missed church. I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian. (thanks to Tananda)

Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking!

I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

My drinking team has a bowling problem. (thanks to Bromond)

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. (thanks to Kenneth Dockery)

If you can read this, you're not the president.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

You read my bumper sticker. That's enough social interaction for today. (thanks to Jacob)

Liberal Arts major: will think for food.

Adjure obfuscation. (thanks to Betty)

Visualize Whirled Peas

If you can read this, I've lost the trailer!

Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph.

I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.

What we need is a patch for stupidity!

Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it!

Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up!

I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.

If you can't read this, thank the teacher's union.