Elvis Taught Me Everything #2
Things I learned from Elvis
Taken as a whole, the songs of Elvis contain everything from handy tips about geography ("a river flows surely to the sea") to practical travel advice (the YMCA in Memphis has cheap accommodations), right through to religious instruction ("I'm lonely like Adam, you're evil like Eve"). Here are some things we've learned from listening to Elvis.
People are more likely to be alone during a blue moon than during any other lunar event.
In Kentucky, precipitation usually occurs when a man is hitchhiking from town to town, having been abandoned by his baby.
The lips of attractive women tend to taste like breakfast spread, in particular honey.
A temperature of 109 is quite common during the early stages of an affair.
The experience of love, especially early in life, can have serious medical consequences including sensations of itching, hand tremors, leg spasms, heart palpitations and language difficulties.
American soldiers were unable to approach young women in Germany in the period after the war, as local women wore signs in German saying, "Keepen Sie Off The Grass."
Children born in disadvantaged areas such as ghettos should receive special assistance as this reduces the likelihood of them turning to a life of crime, thus perpetuating an endless cycle of disadvantage.
A rabbit's foot, while widely considered a creator of good luck, makes only a moderate contribution to one's happiness compared to the impact of finding a good life partner.
If you suspect someone is evil check their middle name because it may well be "Misery".
from Miss Cellania