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Why were you fired?
I used to be a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work. (thanks to Larry the K)
I used to be an optician, but I made a spectacle of myself.
I worked on screen doors, but I strained myself.
I used to work as a hot-air balloon pilot, but my status was up in the air. (thanks to Johnnie)
I used to work in a frozen food factory, but I got fresh and then they canned me. (thanks to Johnnie)
I used to work in a dairy. I got fired for getting in the whey.
I lost my job at the massage parlor. I rubbed people the wrong way.
I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.
I was working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.
I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life, but I didn't have the thyme.
I once was a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job.
I worked at Starbucks, but it was the same old grind.
I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
I tried to work at a deli, but no matter how I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
I worked for a plumber, but that work was too draining.
I even worked as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it. So they gave me the ax.
I tried to work in a shoe factory, but I couldn't fit in.
I became a fisherman, but couldn't live on my net income.
I was a musician, but I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I then got a job at a workout club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
I got a job as a historian, but there was no future in that!
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.