Henny Youngman Jokes 5
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.
Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.