What do these even mean?
He's as happy as a clamp. (thanks to Maryann Lazernik)
You could have knocked me over with a fender. (thanks to Duane Boeve)
That brings a tear to my thigh. (thanks to John Johns)
He's as smooth as sandpaper. (thanks to Alex Garofalo)
A genius is a genealogist's answer to the question 'Got a spare?'. (thanks to James Filmer)
Two wrongs don't make a right turn. (thanks to Duane Boeve)
It's raining like molasses in January. (thanks to Celine McConville)
I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
I'd give my right arm to play guitar like that. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
He's no rocket surgeon.
You need to take the tollpike to get across the freeway. (thanks to Celine McConville)
That's more fun than a barrel of pickles. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
He and I went to different schools together. (thanks to James B. McConville)
Cross my legs and hope to die!
I like it when it stays light out until it gets dark.
If the cows are laying down, the fish aren't biting! (thanks to Jim Johnson)
I have a lot of irons in the fire, but I'm holding them close to my chest.
That just opened Panda's box. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
It is kisstomary to cuss the bride.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay off the porch. (thanks to James B. McConville)
You couldn't pay me to work on commission.
I could smell that with one nostril tied behind my back. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
You hit the nail right on the nose.
The flies were dropping like a bat out of hell. (thanks to Celine McConville)
That guy would give you the arm off his back.
Go jump off a lake.
The gunman was believed to be armed.
I'm up to my ass in elbows.
I can lead you to horsewater, but I can't make you drink.
You play ball with me, and I'll scratch yours.
We're between a pickle and a hard spot. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
It's half of one, six dozen of another.
You better get on the boat because the train is leaving the station! (thanks to Eric Snyder)
He's the cream of the corn.
There is no "I" in win. (thanks to Celine McConville)
There are too many cooks in the broth.
The short answer is 'Yes'. The long answer is 'No'.
Looks like I've spent the day chasing a wild herring!
He's as nervous as a long tailed cat out of the bag. (thanks to Celine McConville)
We are the glue that keeps things moving.
Fits like a charm! Wait - fits like a shoe?
I'm going through paper like it grows on trees.
It just like stealing teeth from a baby.
He's hotter than a cracker. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
I can tell you this, they are all sitting 2 inches higher in their seats, because they all just crapped their pants.
You're barking up a dead tree.