One Liners 3

Remember: First you pillage then you burn.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.

Half the people in the world are below average.

Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software.

You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.

Save the whales: collect the whole set .

I just got lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.

I intend to live forever - so far so good.

Capital punishment isn't for making examples, it's for making bad people dead.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

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