Jonco Says 3

It is the largest ocean on the planet. It covers 46% of the worlds water surface. The equator divides it into the North and South. It's Latin name 'Mare Pacificum' means peaceful sea. Sorry, I'm being very Pacific.

I need to find a new source of electricity. Not happy with my current supplier.

I don't really know much about computers, but my idea of a hard drive is an hour in the car with my wife.

I remember when I was diagnosed as colorblind, it was completely unexpected, out of the purple.

I can't remember the last time I got really drunk.

I will never forget my childhood summers, when we would climb into old tires and roll down the hills. They were Goodyears.

I'm a cosmetic surgeon and just had to sue a woman over incomplete payment of an invoice. Her nose job was fine, but her breasts were outstanding.

If sex with 3 people is called a threesome, and sex with 2 people is called a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome.

I recently wrote a book about how to deal with being an orphan. It's nothing to write home about.

My wife said, "I don't understand double entendres, can you please fill me in?"

I saw Bruce Lee's old man at the bar last night. I was giving him crap about his son and he kicked my ass. From now on I'll respect the elder Lee.

My wife has asked me to "stop always getting the last word in". I'm doing quite well, but now none of my sentences make any.

I'll be ill if you remove the apostrophe.

I failed my English literature exam. Apparently, the answer to question 2b) was not 'or not 2b).'

With my grandmother was seriously ill in the hospital, I asked her if she'd given any thought about euthanasia. She said she didn't really care about Chinese teenagers right now.

Top Ten Reasons to Procrastinate:
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