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Interesting Quotes #1

A nice collection.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

In China, when you're one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. - Bill Gates

It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. - Rabindranath Tagore

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen

Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence. - Eddie Cantor

Gray hair is God's graffiti. - Bill Cosby

We must take change by the hand or rest assuredly, change will take us by the throat. - Winston Churchill

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin

You can always count on the United States to do the right thing, once it has exhausted the alternatives. - Winston Churchill

The worst thing that can happen to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you. - Will Rogers

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you have ever tried. - Ricky Gervais

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter Drucker

When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool. - Edward Teller

History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. - Mark Twain

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful. - W. C. Fields (thanks to Larry the K)

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. - Mae West (thanks to Larry the K)

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill

It isn't pollution that is harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

You only get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so many times. - Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't. - Robert Benchley

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - University of Kentucky Forward Winston Bennett (thanks to Bob Morse)

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not. - Albert Einstein

If everybody's thinking the same thing, then nobody's thinking. - George S. Patton

I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt