Actual SignsAt a barber shop: "Come in with one eyebrow, leave with two!" (thanks to Art at Mira Mesa Barber Shop)
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On an electrician's van: "We'll remove your shorts!" (thanks to Criss P. Baken)
In a veterinarian's office: "Back in 15 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On the door to a proctologist's office: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
At a tailor shop: We give our customers the lowest prices and workmanship
At a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Please do not hunt during daylight" (thanks to Arm)
On a septic tank business: "We're #1 in the #2 business" (thanks to Scott)
At a photo studio: "Have your kids shot while you wait!" (thanks to John)
In a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." (thanks to John)
In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
At a teriyaki restaurant: "$3.99 Chicken Bowel!"
In a Vermont men's store: "25 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament - Ears pierced"
In a Mall: "Ears pierced, while you wait"
In a New Jersey store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
Seen on a Taco Bell sign in Coralville, Iowa: "Everyday low value"
In a Maine restaurant: "At your service: Open 7 days a week and weekends."
On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
In the vestry of a Westminster church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In an Ohio cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
In Vancouver, British Columbia, on a folding sign in front of a small language school: "English Tootering"
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
On a fixit-shop: We can fix anything! (Please knock loudly, doorbell broken) (thanks to A. Nonny Mus)