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Worst Country-Western Songs #1

Yes, these are real!

Get Off the Table, Mabel (the $2 is for the Beer)

I Just Can't Get Over How You've Gotten Over Me (thanks to Wally Reed)

Love Me Like My Dog Does (thanks to Jayma B)

I Lost Freida on the Freeway (thanks to Phinias Whoopie)

I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me

How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?

I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed While I Cry Over You (thanks to Don Fortier)

I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

I Wanna Check You for Ticks (thanks to Jayma B)

I Slipped and Fell in Love (thanks to Anne W)

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Hair in My Eyes Like a Highland Steer (thanks to Anne W)

I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

My Give-A-Damn's Busted (thanks to Anne W)

If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen

If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off (thanks to Anne W)

All My Exes Live in Texas

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (thanks to Anne W)

You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin', Darlin' - You Never Even Called Me By My Name (thanks to Phinias Whoopie)

Saddle Up the Stove, Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight

I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me

Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of your Heart?

If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me Not Calling You Up

All the Guys Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

(Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill

Peel Me a Nanner

I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes, As Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus (Sittin' on the Dashboard of My Car)

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long

If Love Were Oil, I'd be a Quart Low

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart was Pure

I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy

I Kissed Her on the Lips, and Left Her Behind for You

Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind

Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me

I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It.

I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal

I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with A Spade

Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed

You're A Cross I Can't Bear

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now