Jonco Says 1

Thoughts from Jonco, the man behind Bits & Pieces. If you haven't made Bits & Pieces one of your daily stops, you should!

It's really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Is it just me, or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me.

In high school, I was in the French club. All we would do is occasionally surrender to the German club.

The worst bar I've ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn.

I just want to thank the girl who ran with me for the last few thousand feet in the marathon yesterday, not wearing a sports bra. Your lack of support got me through.

A farmer is in his big machinery barn one day doing a striptease when the farmhand walks in catching him in the act. "What the heck!?" exclaims the farmhand. "Oh!" replies the farmer, looking quite embarrassed. "Thing is, Mrs Farmer and I haven't been getting on recently so my therapist advised I should do something sexy to a tractor."

Shouldn't the Air and Space Museum be empty?

Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day. I nearly choked on my latte.

I spent some time at my wife's grave earlier. She's not dead - she thinks I'm digging a pond.

What do houseflies and Mac users have in common? Neither of them understand how Windows work.

92% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

I used to be quite good at wordplay. Once a pun a time.

Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking, that's about the same.

Don't worry about infringing on corporate trademarks, Just Do It.



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