Jonco Says 13

She's not a bad looking woman. She just looks like one.

Apparently animals make different sounds according to different languages. For example, in Korea a dog makes a sizzling noise.

Wearing glasses makes me look better.

My new girlfriend is an architect. Boy, does she know how to make an entrance!

Prisoners with a stutter should be forced to do slightly longer sentences.

I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable. I asked my 38 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them could suggest an answer either.

I was offered a job as a noise pollution inspector. I had to turn it down.

Ironically all the hemorrhoid books at the local library are stacked in piles.

Integers are pointless.

Boxing. What's that, a bout?

If you ate yourself, would you be twice as big or disappear completely?

I don't get creationists. They can't grasp the concept of an ape like creature evolving into a man, yet they have no problem with a rib turning into a woman.

Apparently men think about sex every seven seconds. Luckily I wrote this in sex.

Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

I bought some baby potatoes earlier. He just looked at them and dribbled.

I wanted to be the best sniper in the world, but failed. I think I set my sights too high.

Although I'm a lover of Bruce Willis's acting, I wouldn't say I was a die hard fan.

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. When a woman is ovulating, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. When she's menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye.

I caused an uproar earlier when I put a lion in a hot air balloon.



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