Men vs. Women: How to Change Oil 2

MEN (STILL GOING!): 20. Pour the first quart of new oil into engine.

21. Oops! Now remember the drain plug (removed in step 11). It's still swimming in the now-warm oil in the drain pan.

22. Throw more kitty litter on the quart-sized oil puddle on the floor.

23. Open another beer and drink it.

24. Find drain plug with a minimum of spillage, hand-tighten in drain plug socket. Drink beer.

25. Crawl under car (getting oily kitty litter embedded in neck and arms). Tighten drain plug with crescent wrench, but this time, it's slippery. Bang your knuckles on the frame while tightening drain plug.

26. Throw crescent wrench across the garage in anger. Throw a fit because crescent wrench hits bowling trophy (which wife wouldn't let stay in the house).

27. Open another beer and drink it.

28. Clean hands, bandaging where needed to stop blood flow.

29. Pour in five quarts of fresh oil.

30. Lower car from jack stands. Smile at your handiwork. Open another beer and drink it.

31. Move car back to discover oil puddles you missed; apply more kitty litter to missed areas.

32. Test drive car to make sure oil doesn't leak.

33. Get pulled over a block from the house by local police, get arrested for DUI.

34. Call loving wife and bail bondsman.

35. Next day, get car out of impound yard.

Cost: $50 parts, $20 beer, Impound fee $75, Bail $1500, DUI $2500 minimum.

Total: $4145 (but you know the job was done right!)

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