Thoughts 3

If you look like your passport picture, you definitely need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Never give yourself a haircut after 3 martinis, or 3 margaritas, or 3 shots of tequila.

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, your body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "Woo hoo! What a ride!"

The trouble with life is you're halfway through it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, and it's true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

It takes only a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way.

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.

If it weren't for stress, I'd have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.



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