Stuff Women Need to Know About Men 1

If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking. Unless the answer is yes. In which case, can he videotape it?

Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.

Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to our manhood.

Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.

It is only common courtesy to leave the toilet seat up when you’re done.

If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.

Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.

Don’t hog the covers. Really.

If he has to sit through “Legends of the Fall”, you have to sit through “Showgirls”.

“Fine.” is not an acceptible way to end an argument.

Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.

If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.

Of course he wants another beer.

The guy doesn’t always have to sleep on the wet spot.

Dogs good. Cats bad.

He does not want to be just friends.

Do not question a man’s innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.

He was not looking at that other girl. Well, okay, maybe a little. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy.

He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

Your butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.



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