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Light Bulb Jokes #1

How many does it take?



How many Vietnam Vets does it take to change a light bulb? Forget it, man, you just wouldn't understand.

How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to hold it, one to hammer it in.

How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Juan. (thanks to Dan Antopolski)

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One hundred. One to do it and 99 to say "Hey, I could have done that!"

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change the bulb, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it. (thanks to Jonathan Strickland)

How many dieters does it take to change a light bulb? If it's "light", what could be better? (thanks to Darlene Forsman)

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they only screw in hot tubs. (thanks to Sean C)

How many first trumpets does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three: one to screw it in, one to push the ladder out from under him, and one to say how he could have done both jobs so much better. (thanks to George)

How many NASCAR drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they can only go left. (thanks to Jenna)

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb? Change? Why change?

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, let her do the dishes in the dark. (thanks to Remark8903)

How many George Bushes does it take to change a light bulb? Well, first of all, the light bulb did nothing wrong. Why do you hate freedom? (thanks to Jake M.)

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? I just found a new recipe for Egg Salad! (thanks to Shane)

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they must all be in agreement that the lightbulb must be changed to increase efficiency. (thanks to Brett Jones)

How many Ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to drop it, and one to "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!" (thanks to Connor)

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb! (thanks to Erica)

How many mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to scratch his butt, one to order the wrong part and one to tell you it won't be here until Tuesday. (thanks to Erica)