Mitch HedbergWorld's Funniest Joke
Acronyms
Workers' Comp
Air Traffic Controllers
Andy Rooney
Bad Analogies
Bad Literature
Baseball Injuries
Business Facts
Lessons of Children
Children's Books
Chris Berman
Shortest Books
Daffynitions
Bumper Stickers
Jerry Coleman
College
Cute Jokes
Computer Tech Calls
Doctor's Reports
Giving Pets Pills
Dog Training
Cat Memory
Dog Memory
Drunk?
Einstein Quotes
Elevator Fun
Etch-A-Sketch
Fired
Fray Pascual
Fried Rice Recipe
Funny or Not?
True Facts
Health Facts
Real Facts
NOT Real Facts
Strange Gifts
Gender Specific
Great To Be Alive
Guy Walks Into A Bar
Computer Haiku
Not Hallmark
Headlines
Henny Youngman
Homer Simpson
Huh?
In-flight Humor
Insanity Helpers
Insults
Math Lessons
Bad Resumes
Welfare Stories
Quotes from a master thinker.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity! (thanks to Martha Shields)
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius (and a lot of courage) to move in the opposite direction.
I'm no Einstein.
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin - what else does a man need to be happy?
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
One does not make wars less likely by formulating rules of warfare.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The only real valuable thing is intuition.
A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe.
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain. As far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking.
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
You see - wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: You send signals here, and they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
Insurance StoriesInterview Fun
One Liners
Learn This!
Real Acronyms
Light Bulbs
Not A Kid Anymore
Wrong Lyrics
Experience
Mall Facts
Answering Machines
Men's Rules
American Barbecue
Men vs. Women
Never
The Odds
The Real Odds
Are You Old?
Oxymorons
Palindromes
Pickup Lines
How To Change Oil
Politically Correct
Pool Ball
Pregnant Men
Company Christmas Party
Proverbs
Puns
Yum! Quesadillas!
Famous Quotes
Rita Rudner
Science Fun
Yogi Berra
Signs
School Excuses
Snow Shoveler
Country Songs
State Mottos
Stir Fry Recipe
Telemarketers
Crisis Thoughts
Teen Poverty
Wal-Mart Fun
Sick Employees
What Women Say
What Women Want
Why?
The Woman's Code
Women Employees
Work Thoughts
Ralph Wiggum
Employee Handbook
Steven Wright
Funny2 Philosophy