Things You Learn in College #2
But you don't learn in class!
Ordering food at 1 AM is a common occurrence.
The girl you're going to marry may live right next door, so keep your stereo down.
You never realized how cool you can be.
TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.
You realize how great your hell summer job was once you have to study.
Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more than ever before.
You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.
You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temperatures, and roommates snoring.
You don't have to cover your textbooks anymore.
You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls, activities, work, parties.
You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.
People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.
You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not.
Procrastination becomes an art.
Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires.
The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.
With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you're on intellectual welfare.
Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.
Amount of alcohol consumed is inversely proportional to grade point average.
You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.
Classes: the later the better.
The cute girls actually talk to you now.
Care packages make it all worthwhile.
The longer you're there, the less you talk about home.
Always wear your safety goggles. They're not kidding.
You don't learn last names.
Card games never lasted for hours before.
Vacuuming happens every semester, if you get around to it.
Boys will dance in college.
People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home.
You are NEVER alone.
It's amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the Lucky Charms in the cafeteria are the real thing.
People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.
You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library, etc. to make it sound like a house.
All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send some cookies.
You never realized how quiet your house was.
Dishes aren't dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and / or mold in them.
You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.
Your life will never be the same again.
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