Henny Youngman Jokes 9
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Smart Guy Jokes
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him!
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"
If I had blood, I'd blush.
A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
I just finished my income tax forms. Who says you can't get wounded by a blank?
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!