Bad Analogies 2

Chicken: it's like a cow, but different. (Ben Olson)

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat. (Jeffrey Carl)

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master. (unknown)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. (unknown)

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. (unknown)

She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef. (unknown)

She had a deep throaty genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up. (unknown)

Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever. (unknown)

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM. (unknown)

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. (unknown)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (unknown)

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. (unknown)

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river. (unknown)

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