Interesting Quotes 8

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody." - Garry Shandling

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain

Men look at women the way men look at cars... Everyone looks at Ferraris. Now and then we like a pickup truck, and we all buy station wagons... - Tim Allen

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know... Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfield

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight. - Rita Rudner

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. - Tim Allen

AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote." - Jay Leno

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers! - Jay Leno

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, "Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west." - Richard Jeni