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New Year's Resolutions

The Evolution of Those Resolutions

RESOLUTION #1:
2006: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2007: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2008: I will read 5 books a year.
2009: I will finish The DaVinci Code.
2010: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2011: I will read at least one article this year.
2012: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

RESOLUTION #2:
2006: I will get my weight down below 180.
2007: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2009: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2010: I will work out 5 days a week.
2011: I will work out 3 days a week.
2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

RESOLUTION #3:
2006: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2007: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2008: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2009: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2010.
2010: I will be totally out of debt by 2011.
2011: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2012.
2012: I will try to be out of the country by 2013.

RESOLUTION #4:
2009: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2010: I will not leave Marge.
2011: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge.
2012: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

RESOLUTION #5:
2009: I will stop looking at other women.
2010: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2011: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
2012: I will stop looking at other women.

RESOLUTION #6:
2009: I will not let my boss push me around.
2010: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2011: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2012: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

RESOLUTION #7:
2009: I will not get upset when Charlie makes jokes about my baldness.
2010: I will not get annoyed when Charlie kids me about my toupee.
2011: I will not get angry when Charle tells the guys I wear a girdle.
2012: I will not speak to Charlie.

RESOLUTION #8:
2009: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2010: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2011: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2012: I will not miss any AA meetings.

RESOLUTION #9:
2009: I will see my dentist this year.
2010: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2011: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2012: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

RESOLUTION #10:
2009: I will go to church every Sunday.
2010: I will go to church as often as possible.
2011: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2012: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.


From Miss Cellania


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