Mitch Hedberg
World's Funniest Joke
Acronyms
Workers' Comp
Air Traffic Controllers
Andy Rooney
Bad Analogies
Bad Literature
Baseball Injuries
Business Facts
Lessons of Children
Children's Books
Chris Berman
Shortest Books
Daffynitions
Bumper Stickers
Jerry Coleman
College
Cute Jokes
Computer Tech Calls
Doctor's Reports
Giving Pets Pills
Dog Training
Cat Memory
Dog Memory
Drunk?
Einstein Quotes
Elevator Fun
Etch-A-Sketch
Fired
Fray Pascual
Fried Rice Recipe
Funny or Not?
True Facts
Health Facts
Real Facts
NOT Real Facts
Strange Gifts
Gender Specific
Great To Be Alive
Guy Walks Into A Bar
Computer Haiku
Not Hallmark
Headlines
Henny Youngman
Homer Simpson
Huh?
In-flight Humor
Insanity Helpers
Insults
Math Lessons
Bad Resumes
Welfare Stories


  What a Woman Wants in a Man
At various ages

What women want in a man at age 25:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 35:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 45:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 55:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 65:

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 75:

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
   
Insurance Stories
Interview Fun
One Liners
Learn This!
Real Acronyms
Light Bulbs
Not A Kid Anymore
Wrong Lyrics
Experience
Mall Facts
Answering Machines
Men's Rules
American Barbecue
Men vs. Women
Never
The Odds
The Real Odds
Are You Old?
Oxymorons
Palindromes
Pickup Lines
How To Change Oil
Politically Correct
Pool Ball
Pregnant Men
Company Christmas Party
Proverbs
Puns
Yum! Quesadillas!
Famous Quotes
Rita Rudner
Science Fun
Yogi Berra
Signs
School Excuses
Snow Shoveler
Country Songs
State Mottos
Stir Fry Recipe
Telemarketers
Crisis Thoughts
Teen Poverty
Wal-Mart Fun
Sick Employees
What Women Say
What Women Want
Why?
The Woman's Code
Women Employees
Work Thoughts
Ralph Wiggum
Employee Handbook
Steven Wright
Funny2 Philosophy