How Many to Change a Light Bulb? 5

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? Hey, buddy, if you keep buggin' me, I'm gonna rip you a new one! (thanks to Rockin' Bob)

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows. They won't release the information. (thanks to Darby Conley)

How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it might take all day.

How many whales does it take to change a light bulb? Since we're saving the whales, why not save the bulb too? (thanks to Darlene Forsman)

How many dadaists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish.

How many jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? Don't worry, I'll just sit here in the dark. (thanks to Harry)

How many mice does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there. (thanks to Jesse)

How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb? 1.67

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? None. If you're having trouble with the bulb, it could be the socket, which may cause you problems in the future. Therefore, we should remove the socket.

How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb? None, make her cook in the dark.

How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb? Five: while Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five, one to change it and four to make the documentary about it.

How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb? One two! One two!

How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb? Oh, no! The bulb's out? Sell my GE stock NOW!!

How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? None. They let their wives do it. (thanks to VV)

How many help-desk employees does it take to change a light bulb? May I suggest you read the manual?

How many Apple board of directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? That's proprietary information.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? Change? (thanks to John D.)