Light Bulb Jokes #4
OK, for real, how many does it take?
How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb? WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Sixteen. One to change it, and fifteen to form a support group.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny, pig. (thanks to Rockin' Bob)
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he has to wait until the light is better.
How many art students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he gets two credits.
How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to do it and one to say "Huh! My four-year old could've done that!"
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you.
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the ladder, and one to change the penis - I mean, er, ah...light bulb.
How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it really gets screwed.
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four, one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.
How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
How many antelopes does it take to change a light bulb? None, they are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.
How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fifteen. One to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink whiskey until the room spins.
How many Valley Girls does it take to change a light bulb? Oh, Daddy! (thanks to Homer)
How many kids on Ritalin does it take to change a light bulb? Hey, let's go ride bikes! (thanks to Bub)
One. How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them."
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.
I don't know how many high school girls it would take to change a light bulb, but they'd sure post it on Facebook!
How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll? Who knows? It's never happened!
How many KKK members does it take to change a lightbulb? None, those guys live in eternal darkness. (thanks to Colm Branigan)
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number you've never even heard of. (thanks to Gus Price)
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