Why Did the Chicken... 1

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken, like all hard working Americans, crossed the road because he was filled with Hope and Change for a better life and when you spread the Hope and Change around it's good for all the chickens.

CASEY ANTHONY: Oh, no! Did that chicken peck through the duct tape and get out of the trunk?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh darn it, he's a maverick!

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because the bank where he kept all the money he made on oil was on the other side.

TEA PARTY MEMBER: The chicken did not cross the road because he saw what was on the other side.

HOSNI MUBARAK: I tried to prevent the chicken from crossing the road but when I lost American support he did what he damned well pleased.

JOE BIDEN: Because we spent $11 billion building high speed rail to cross the roads.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH: I am innocent of the charges that I took $20.00 to tell that chicken to cross the road!

NANCY PELOSI: Chickens will do whatever I tell them to, that's why.

MUAMMAR GADHAFI: The chicken crossed the road because my generals called in air support and blew up his rebel base so he was forced to flee for his life.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH WINFREY: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

SCOTT WALKER: We took away his collective bargaining rights and so every chicken had to make the best decision for themselves and this chicken decided to cross the road.

VLADIMIR PUTIN: That reason is classified though we do know why the chicken in America crossed the road and I can tell you this.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: He was trying to get away from some intolerant Republicans and form a cluckus with other chickens of similar minds.