Fray Pascual 2They were yelling so loud that I couldn't hear them.
Noah's great, great, etc. grandson, keeps family tradition alive by running the log waterslide ride at Disneyland.
I can't stand gossip. I've had people talk behind my back right to my face.
One of the main causes of the American Revolution was the Boston Tupperware Party.
Sign on the Pessimist's Club door: "It's never too late to give up hope."
My favorite place to get stopped for speeding is Las Vegas. All the police cars have a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror.
When my doctor asked if I do any exercise, I said, "Does ripping off the filters of my cigarettes count?"
If Adam and Eve practiced channeling, who would they go back to?
Darwin got the idea for the survival of the fittest from one of the crew's comments about his coffee.
If a tree falls in the forest, was there anyone around to hear it? Not if it was downed by the Al Capone Logging Company.
I'm on a new diet. I fast only between bites.
You couldn't pay me to work for free!
When you're bored, try listening to a chess match on the radio.
Is a zen trainwreck more peaceful than a regular trainwreck?
I started to fall in love once, but the phone rang.
I used to be a perfectionist, but I'm trying to improve.
I'd be a lot richer if there was a Good Hair Fairy.
If a mime falls in the forest, does he make a sound?
I overeat only in moderation.
If you play a Neil Diamond song backwards, do you get Barry Manilow?
I came from an average family. My father was a navigator on a merry-go-round and my mother was a stewardess on a hang glider.