Insanity Helpers #2
Many things to get you through the day.
During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.
Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Don't use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!"
Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."
Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"