One Liners 13
A good pun is its own reword.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Help Wanted: Telepath; you know where to apply.
Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor?
Wear short sleeves; support your right to bare arms!
I love cats; they taste just like chicken.
I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I'm not holding my breath. (thanks to Skip Tucker)
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Some people have a way with words, others not have way.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.
Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Help Wanted: Telepath; you know where to apply.
Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor?
Wear short sleeves; support your right to bare arms!
I love cats; they taste just like chicken.
I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I'm not holding my breath. (thanks to Skip Tucker)
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Some people have a way with words, others not have way.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.
Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.
