Jonco Says 4
I say tomato you say tomato. Doesn't quite have the same effect online.I had my house inspected by an expert interior decorator. She told me that the whole house was fine, apart from the room at the top of the house. I think it might be a little problem attic.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on reverse psychology! The librarian says, "You don't want to read that".
Then I asked for a book on homeopathy and the librarian said there were a few pages here and there throughout the library.
You need to have eyes in the back of your head when you've got kids. In hindsight, I wish I'd never had any.
I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania, and I have taken something valuable away from every session.
My shrink is helping with my fear of money. He's raising his rates.
I bought a treadmill today. It's giving me a run for my money.
I think men who lose their penis should be remembered.
Did you hear about the bird that was born without a beak? He was born to succeed.
I was messing around with my buddy at the pottery factory yesterday and we got locked in the kiln. The boss fired us both.
A friend of mine is known for going round to peoples houses and stealing pictures of them. It's a poor trait.
I got kicked out of aerobics class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I went into the changing room several times, but it was still the same.
I came up with a way of getting coal out of the ground. Hope no one else thinks of the same idea - it's mine.
I complained to the city council that the street I live on has no name. They said they'll address it at the next board meeting.
My three unwritten rules :
1.
2.
3.