You Know You're Old When... 2

You have trouble falling asleep at night in a dark room and a comfortable bed, but can easily nod off any afternoon while driving seventy miles an hour on the freeway.

Your spouse and kids complain that you're "tuning them out", but a dog barking three blocks away keeps you up all night.

You dial the phone and then can't remember who you called.

The fear of "turning into your parents" has been replaced by the fear of "turning into your grandparents".

You no longer have all of your original teeth, but you take comfort in the fact that you still have both of your original hips.

When you see a mother and her teenage daughter, you fantasize about the mother.

You remember having to get up and walk across the room to change channels on a television set.

Your computer has more memory than you do.

You'd stop and take time to smell the flowers, except you can no longer bend over that far without throwing out your back.

You're overjoyed to learn that sex uses up as many calories as jogging six miles.

You need a weed whacker to trim the hair growing from your nose, ears, and eyebrows.

You'd rather buy control-top panty hose than go to the gym.

You've received letters from cemeteries inviting you to purchase a burial plot and you've actually considered it.

When the flight attendant makes the pre-boarding announcement for folks that need a little extra time getting down the jetway, you consider it.

There's a tube of Ben-Gay in your medicine cabinet.


From Miss Cellania

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