You Know You're Old When... 3

You've told someone, "I haven't seen him/her in twenty years".

You have to unbutton your pants after a meal and take them off completely after a big meal.

You'd like to live long enough to break even on your Social Security taxes.

You drive to an out-of-town pharmacy where nobody knows you to pick up your monthly prescription of Viagra.

The only illegal herbs you're interested in smuggling into this country are Cuban cigars.

There are parts of your body that you can no longer see without using multiple mirrors.

As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.

You are secretly disappointed that we are still waiting for the advent of moving sidewalks, 3-D television, and flying cars.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car, even when you're in the "ten items or less" lane.

The group picture from your high school reunion could be the "before" picture for the Hair Club for Men.

You've mixed up the names of your children with the dog's.

One cabinet in the kitchen is devoted entirely to bottles of vitamins.

You use marijuana for medicinal reasons.

You've come to the realization that whoever said "You're not getting older, you're getting better" was not under oath.


From Miss Cellania

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