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Bad Resumes #1

These items are from actual resumes!

Objectives:

To acquire a creative development position within the entertainment industry that would utilize my vast (2 years) technical experience.

To find a gig.

My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

Reasons for leaving the last job:

Terminated after saying, "It would be a blessing to be fired."

Responsibility makes me nervous.

Being in trouble with the law, I moved quite frequently.

In my last position, got nowhere as part of a 60-person herd.

I did not give the company my full effort and received no chance of advancement in return.

Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

My last employer insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.

Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.

I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.

Maturity leave.


Job responsibilities:

Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees' paychecks.

Responsibilities included checking customers out.

Creator / Writer: ihatemylife.us, Los Angeles, CA

Overlooked all areas to ensure an overwhelming success.

Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.

Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.

While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.


Personal interests:

Donating blood. 14 gallons so far!

I like the Simpsons.

Interests: Running, editing video, cooking, writing and wondering.

Go Chargers!


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